Friday, December 24, 2010

LeAnn Rimes Needed to Put Herself First

Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes
Cheaters: LeAnne Rimes and Eddie Cibrian
Seriously? I didn't know the marriage vow stated "When you need to put yourself first have an affair." This fits into my belief that only certain people should marry. In her interview with "Shape" Magazine she said, "I’ve always been one of those people who takes care of everyone else-and their needs-first. This past year, for the first time ever, I put me first. I’m sure some people are thinking that I was totally selfish, but the truth is, there are times in your life when you have to be selfish in order to find out what truly makes you happy". Seriously, gays haven't been allow to marry and neither should people who say silliness like this.

But what's the truth? Marriage is not about you being happy. Let me say it again, marriage is NOT about you being happy. And by the way her excuse is a common one people give for screwing their spouse over. Marriage is about the happiness of the union. You make compromises, solve problems and treat each other with love and respect. Otherwise, don't do it.

I do understand the idea of "me time" and self discover and believe me, I'm a big proponent of it and also of finding out what make you "happy", but at the same time, this is the exact opposite of what marriage is about. Under Ms. Rimes ideaology I can marry and when things aren't going so well, I just start looking for the next chick who will make me happy. "Sorry honey, I know I made a vow to you and God, but that only applied when you were making me happy. Even though I said for better and for worse, I didn't mean that." Honestly You can use this bullcrap argument anytime you flake out, but we pretty much know the terms of the marriage contract when we enter it, right.

In her interview with "Shape" magazine she goes on to say,  "Cultivating strength from rough situations is the most important thing. After going through this, I know I can face anything." Did he cheat on her? I mean it sounds like she's the victim. Cultivating strength from the fact you got caught committing adultery? I mean the rough situation was being busted for cheating. But that's what supposed to happen when you cheat.

Now, I don't know Dean Sheremet's side or what he did. Maybe he cheated too, maybe he didn't, but I do know this isn't all on Rimes. Takes two to tango and Eddie Cibrian was married to  Brandi Glanville for seven years and had two kids with her. His line of PR pablum included the prefabricated, "I hope for the sake of our children we can all move forward and heal privately. I wish their mother nothing but the best." I love how it's all about the kids. Was it for the sake of the kids when you were stickin' it to LeAnne. How did the kids feel about that one. And if you want the best for their mother, how about not cheating on her. But what's done is done. I'm just calling BS for what it is.

The respect for marriage is virtually non-existent. Your average person gets married because they're "in love". Which means the other person makes them feel good so they marry them. Again this is pretty much the same reason crackheads use crack. But what happens when the other person stops making you feel good? The other reason is because some people feel they have to do it. You don't. If you know you don't want to marry don't. Save the other person some heartache and time.

Real marriages are built on love not being "in love". Being in love is based on emotions and has nothing to do with real love. And in a marriage "me time" or being selfish equates to taking up a hobby, not cheating on your spouse.  If you don't know what really makes you happy, you shouldn't even be in a relationship, less on getting married, you're a child.

The "one flesh" mentality no long exists. I know it's a Biblical term so some have simply said, "Oh he's talking Bible stuff let me stop reading now." For those still with me, the mentality of being "one flesh" is the only way a marriage can survive. The idea that, "if I hurt my spouse, I hurt myself" is something that many people need to investigate and understand. This is what marriage really is.

Now I know some people will disagree, but we base everything on our own happiness now. Anything that goes against that is throw away. The only problem with this is that you'll never be happy and you'll constantly seek only what makes you happy. You'll have no way of dealing with things when times go bad. And when Ms. Rimes says the relationship "had problems" before she met Eddie Cibrian, the fact is ALL marriages have problems. And if she marries this guy that marriage will ultimately have problems too.

Now I'm not married so people will question who am I to say these things, but I can easily counter with saying this post is not only about marriage, but how we treat people in general today. I have a message for Ms Rimes and others: People are not old Mc Donald's wrappers that you simply throw away when you're done with them. I know you and Eddie are famous and all and have great looks and all that money and it's probably what you famous types are used to, but it's not how it should be.

I do plan one day to be married. My question is are these the kind of chicks I have to look forward to? How does one avoid marrying what is basically your typical person in today's society. And the twenty-somethings are really going to have it bad. It explains why someone would prefer a friends with benefits relationship to a marriage. No one is willing to work the problems through anymore, it's simply, "Oh, I'm not happy anymore, I found another penis (or vagina), goodbye."

And for the record when you fall in love with someone, you can easily fall out of love just as well, because when you fell in love it wasn't real in the first place. It only becomes real when you can look past immediate emotions and can show love and kindness to a person even when you're angry at them or not so "in love" with them at the moment. The thing is this attitude needs to be cultivated before marriage.